Constitution

Huzzah! The constitution has been published! This is our first draft, and is subject to become sillier and less informative.
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1. Preamble, Aims & Activities

1.1 This Constitution describes the organisation of the Glasgow University Tin-foil Hat Brigade. In this Constitution the Glasgow University Tin-foil Hat Brigade shall be referred to as "The Brigade".

1.2 The Brigade shall aim to further awareness of the head-worn anti-electromagnetic radiation device ("Tin-foil Hat"), promote personal privacy and expose conspiracies within wider society.

1.3 The Brigade shall provide its members ("Brigadiers") with advice in constructing Tin-foil Hats, assistance with the purchase of necessary materials and provide a safe, Faraday-caged environment for those people who feel shunned by society as a result of their beliefs in the need for the Hat.

1.4 Michael Faraday's birthday, 22 September, shall be a day of feasting. No apples though.


2. Membership

2.1 Full ordinary membership shall be open to registered students of the University of Glasgow only.

2.1.1 Full ordinary members shall be referred to as Ordinary Brigadiers.

2.2 Non-students may join as Associate Brigadiers only.

2.3 Associate Brigadiers (non-students) shall not account for more than 20% of the total membership.

2.4 Ordinary and Associate Brigadiers will receive the choice of two Hat01 variants as defined in Section 3.2.3 of this document upon payment of the optional non-refundable annual membership fee; the amount of which shall be equal to the average cost of one square metre of supermarket grade aluminium foil. All memberships shall lapse at the start of Freshers' Week, excepting the Freshers' Week of leap years, when they shall lapse on the day of the 7th full moon following Easter.

2.5 The Secretary will be responsible for maintaining an up-to-date list of Brigadiers. Inclusion on this list is sufficient proof of membership. No membership card or token will be provided or necessary. Honorary members of more than twenty years standing shall be provided with a golden bayonet. The Comptroller shall make provision for adequate supplies of golden bayonets. The phrase "golden" need not infer the use of real gold.

2.6 The Executive Brigade may, at its discretion, appoint the honorary rank of Brigadiero (first rate) to distinguished former Brigadiers and leading lights in the wider Movement. Bridadieroes are purely honorary, and shall have no voting rights, or any rights at all, and will not be counted towards the Associate Brigadier limit.

2.7 Non-Brigadiers who become members of the Brigade's official Facebook (R) group shall be awarded the rank of Brigadiero (second rate). The rank of Brigadiero (second rate) carries less rights than the rank of Brigadiero (first rate), and as such shall be disregarded in its entirety, except by persons holding such rank who may wish to include it on their CV.


3 Hats

3.1 Materials recognised by The Brigade as foil include: Aluminium foil, tin-foil, Bacofoil, 3M Velostat, part number 1706, 6 mm thick, or part number 1704, 4 mm thick.

3.2 Brigadiers' hats should be constructed to The Brigade's "Build Specifications for Official Hats of The Brigade" which is outlined .

3.2.1 Presidential Hats shall be triple ply foil, with two points and a ceremonial brim

3.2.2 Other senior Brigadiers and officials shall wear any variant of Hat02 as defined in section 3.2.2.1

3.2.2.1 Hat02 shall be made from 2 ply foil have one central spike protruding from the dome shaped body of the Hat. Only brims or hems under 10mm are permitted on hats wishing to meet Hat02 validation.

3.2.3 Hat01 shall take the form of the classic paper hat. Triangular in shape made from single ply foil. The hat may feature a hem but no brim or further decoration.

3.3 Hats - miscellaneous provisions

3.3.1 Brigadiers should not wear their hat whilst playing a drum kit in Jim's Bar on the Wednesday preceding a gig in Qudos.

3.3.2 Brigadiers wearing their hat in compromising or otherwise inappropriate situations, or wearing a hat above their rank, may be deemed to be bringing the Brigade into disrepute. In such circumstances, they may be demoted or dishonorably discharged from the Brigade following a vote by a General Meeting.

3.3.3. Feathers may only be worn in hats in extremis. Members of the Brigade's dance troupe are exempt from the provisions of this paragraph while discharging their duties.

3.4.5 Trimming may not be worn in the colours of the LBSS faculty.


4. Governance

4.1 The Brigade shall be under the control of membership.

4.2 Any Ordinary Brigadier shall have full voting rights at any General Meeting of the Brigade.

4.3 At any General Meeting of the Brigade, the weight assigned to the total vote of Associate Brigadiers shall not exceed 10% of the total voting members present. The number of voting members not present shall have no bearing on the vote.

4.4 The Brigade shall have three Executive office-bearers, and a myriad of others, as set out in Section 5.

4.5 Office bearers shall be elected by the membership at the Annual General Meeting or at a special general meeting called to elect a replacement during the event of a vacancy. Members wishing to stand for office must intimate their intention by wearing a particularly tall tin-foil hat during the meeting. Members failing to wear such a hat shall not be eligible to stand.

4.6 All Ordinary Brigadiers are entitled to stand for the office bearer positions.

4.7 At least two Executive office bearers shall be registered students and shall not have opted out of SRC representation under the Education Act 1994.

4.8 The Annual General Meeting, at which office bearers shall be elected and the Brigade's accounts submitted and approved by the membership shall be called with not less than 10 working days' notice to the membership.

4.9 Extraordinary Gatherings of the Brigade may be called by no fewer than 2 executive members, with no less than three and a half days' notice. These Gatherings shall carry no official purpose whatsoever, but may be used to preview new candidate designs for Hat variants.


5. Office Bearers

5.1 The Brigade shall have three office bearers, who will form the Executive Brigade. These positions shall be: President; Comptroller; Secretary.

5.1.1 The role of the President shall be to act as an ambassador to the unprotected world and to further the aims of The Brigade and The Movement worldwide.

5.1.2 The roll of the President shall be Cheese and Onion.

5.1.3 The role of the Comptroller shall be to hold responsibility over The Brigade's accounts and finances. Including the issuing of financial statements.

5.1.4 The roll of the Comptroller shall be Bacon and Potato Scone.

5.1.5 The role of the secretary shall be to hold responsibility over the club's membership list and correspondence with the SRC and other University bodies.

5.1.5.1 The Secretary shall also fulfil the post of "Hat Inspector In Chief". This role MAY NOT BE DELEGATED.

5.1.6 The roll of the Secretary shall be Spam (as approved by the Ham and Pressed Meat Products Officer as outlined in 5.4.1)

5.3 The Executive Brigade will be responsible for day-to-day running of the Brigade. They remain accountable to the membership, and must report on their actions at any General Meeting of the Brigade.

5.4 Ex-officio members

5.4.1 The Executive Brigade, in consultation with the membership, shall create additional ex-officio Executive positions including but not limited to:
- Science Officer
: responsible for monitoring technical advances, both in mind control technology and in countermeasures, and advising the Brigade thereupon
- Events & Social Convener
: responsible for organising gatherings of the Brigade, excepting such gatherings as mandated by this Constitution, whose organisation falls under the remit of the Brigade Secretary.
- Communications Coordinator
: responsible for communications to the membership. Due to the sensitive nature of their role and their potential to corrupt the Brigade, the Communications Coordinator should wear a double-strength hat to ensure immunity from external influence.
- Ham and Pressed Meat Products Officer
: Responsible for the inspection of ham and other pressed meat products, and shall also publish a tri-yearly Publication pertaining to said Products. The Publication shall have a word-count of up to 53,222 words; two copies shall be due at no later than 5PM at the History Honours office, and shall require a full bibliography and citations. The Officer shall adhere to the School of Historical Studies guide: "WRITING WITH STYLE," rev. 4 September 2000, v4.1, available at www.gla.ac.uk/media/media_58847_en.pdf : The aforementioned Officer reserves the right to commission the Brigade's own style-guide, provided that He has the backing of more than 50% plus one of the Membership.

5.4.2 The ex-officio members of the Executive will fulfill their roles as and when required. They shall not be required to attend every meeting of the Executive, and will not cast a vote at such meetings.

5.4.3 Between General Meetings, the Executive may co-opt Brigadiers from the ranks into ex-officio positions. These appointments must be confirmed at a General Meeting as soon as reasonably practicable.

5.5 Office bearers shall not throw stones in glass houses. The Brigade will provide neither glass houses nor stones for the non-undertaking of this activity.

5.6 Office bearers shall make provision for a special sealable receptacle to be constructed, housing no fewer than seven (7) electromagnetic waves. This box, to be known as Pandora's Box, shall not be opened, except under controlled circumstances, or on Tuesdays. No mammals may be housed in Pandora's Box. Mammals inadvertently housed within this box shall not be deemed dead until the box is re-opened, neither shall they be so deemed if, upon reopening of the box, the mammal is found to be alive.


6. Equal Opportunities

6.1 The Brigade will be committed to equal opportunities, whatever a person's race, colour, ethnic or national origin, religion, sex, sexual orientation, age, physical or mental disability, state of health, appearance (except with regard to styles of tinfoil hat as outlined in section 3), status, family circumstances or beliefs (except where their beliefs directly contradict the rest of 6.1 or the aims of The Brigade).


7. Constitutional Amendments

7.1 The membership may make constitutional amendments at the Annual General Meeting.

7.2 On receipt of a petition signed by 10 percent of the membership, or no less than 50% plus one of the Executive, the Secretary shall give five working days notice of a Special (or extraordinary, or extra special) General meeting to consider submitted amendments. No extraordinary meetings shall take place on golf courses. It is permissible for extra special meetings to take place anywhere.

7.3 Only a quorate General Meeting of the Society may amend the Constitution. A two-thirds majority of those present and voting shall be required to pass any amendment, including adopting a new Constitution. Proxy and postal votes may not be used.

7.4 The Brigade Secretary shall keep the Constitution up to date, and shall preserve dated historical copies in a time capsule ("The Doomsday Survival Box"). The Doomsday Survival Box should be lined in a minimum of 5 layers of foil, or 2 layers of 6mm 3M Velostat. It shall also contain an energy bar (any reputable brand). For the purposes of this paragraph, "any reputable brand" excludes any brand not foil-wrapped, or containing more than 38% cat.

7.5 An up to date copy of the Constitution shall be made available to Brigadiers on request.


8. Miscellaneous Provisions

8.1 Toilet roll

8.2 Milk

8.3 Reserved

8.3.1 The designation of point 8.3 can only be assigned at any General Meeting.

8.4 Chocolate Digestives

8.5 Four candles

8.5.1 provisions in 8.5 may be substituted by Fork Handles

8.6 Should any part of this document be deemed illegal, illogical or illegible, the remainder of the document will continue in blissful ignorance.


9 Various other things

9.1 All Brigade safety signage must conform to ISO 7010.

9.2 Mornington Crescent: Warren Street shall always be positive. No District flip-backs.

Hatless Students- Unite!

Glasgow University students: do you often feel as though you are vulnerable to the electromagnetic radiation that is whizzing around us all, day in and day out? Have you been shunned by society at large and been made to feel as though you're crazy because of your rightly-held beliefs on the proliferation of tin-foil hats and related paraphernalia?

Rest assured, comrade! You are not alone. Your fight against mind control and invisible laser beams from the sky will no longer be in vain. There have been growing seeds of discontent on campus at large vis a vie anti-electromagnetic radiation headgear, and the masses have finally joined forces to create the GLASGOW UNIVERSITY TINFOIL HAT BRIGADE.

As a Brigade, we will provide members with advice in constructing Tin-foil Hats, assistance with the purchase of necessary materials and provide a safe, Faraday-caged environment for those people who feel shunned by society as a result of their beliefs in the need for the Hat. We will work tirelessly and will fight endlessly to:

* Promote awareness of all forms of mind-control that rains down from the sky upon the unsuspecting heads of the masses, and make an effort to convert as many of the affected to our cause as possible.

* Wage campaigns against invisible government lasers that seek to control every aspect of our lives.

* Book rooms on campus for our activities and those of our affiliates.

* Sponsor and promote the research and development of better forms of head-worn anti-electromagnetic radiation devices.

* Anything else that the Brigade and its Leadership feel necessary to do in service of the Hat.

Join our fight! Sign up now! Send your name, matric number and hat preference to gutinfoilhatbrigade@googlemail.com.